It’s been a lovely rainy Sunday and while I do enjoy such days, today I am sinking down into a low place. I got me the sleepy time puppy blues. One of my dogs, Jerry of Ben & Jerry fame is unwell. At least he is pretending to be so. He had me up so many times last night that I am worn out today. Up till about 3 hours ago, he seemed pretty good today. Then “Brummmp!” Yup, the little beast started letting go all sorts of weird and halloweeny sounds and I knew it all spelled trouble with a capital “D”. Yes, D! for that dreaded disease….diarrhea! OH NO! so I found myself walking through the puddles, trying to allow him to empty himself. There…..now we can go in out of the rain, I thought. Whew…..10 minutes later the sound effects begin again. And to make it worse, he starts complaining. If you think a dog that size (15 lber) can’t complain then you don’t know my Jerry! He moaned and groaned and yelping and schelped until I had to don my boots and wander out again through the mucky mess. You’d think with the inclement weather, he would choose the first available bush but no, he’s gotta sniff and poke and explore until it’s just the right place. CRAP….as I write this, he is calling out to me again. I swear if I knew how to download and upload a digital recording I would…..he sounds like the devil himself when he starts. I HATE pets. OK OK so don’t get your knickers in a twist…..I hate hypochondriac pets. I am convinced he has a wee little bit of indigestion but he’s making off like the worst case of…..hang on a min….gotta go and take the little bastard out AGAIN………………….And my darling husband is off the island until Tuesday. I bet you a hundred bucks he will be FINE when Ray returns. DAMMIT………..why did I think having a cute little pup or two would be…ah…er….cute????? As you may note, I am a very patient person….NOT. I mean it’s worse than having a set of twins bawling at the same time……I am POST-MENOPAUSAL guys and I can’t take it ANYMORE!!!! In fact, earlier to try to regain some semblance of sanity I called my sister to let off steam. She did cheer me up and made me promise to keep on the right side of the law here….We ended up laughing and I felt a new woman until 5 minutes after we hung up. Look at him, all mopey and sad-eyed….I KNOW YOU ARE TRYING TO PLAY WITH ME JERRY……I am not falling for your sappy look. Perhaps if I let him spend some quality time on our covered and snug little patio, he will relax. Be right back…..nah, that didn’t work either. He wants MOMMA and guys, that’s me….let me run for now.
In closing, I will say that I am adamant about one thing….someone is gonna sleep tonight…..I got me some nice little blue pills…..wonder if pets can…..nah, better not!