I Am Not a Nice Person

As I was out walking my infamous dogs, Ben & Jerry, ¬†today, it occurred to me that I am not a very nice person. I mean anyone who loves total strangers more than their own cute little pugs, isn’t very nice, is she? You know the rule is to wave to passers-by and to greet neighbors with a smile. It’s all written in some law-book somewhere that you have to be happy that your pet gets more attention and praise than you do! It’s just unfair, imho that my husband is happier to see his little buddies when he comes home than me. OK OK so he says that isn’t true but not once have I known him to let me jump up on him in excitement and slobber all over……WAIT A SEC…..ok so maybe he lets me do that but I really think he loves them more than me. ¬†When one of them has a headache, he feels all sorry for them but me?????

Now, where was I? Oh yes, I am not nice…. Today when I was down the road with these two little beasts, a man came up to me and said, “Oh, they’re twins, aren’t they? They are so cute!” I smiled at him but if he could have read my mind, he may have seen the word IDIOT in capital letters, yelling to burst out of me! Twins? Dogs? I almost said, “No you stupid piece of sh.., they are actually sextuplets, moron!” But I fake smiled. I’m kind of good at that now. Fake smiles, fake interest, fake everything…well not everything but you get my meaning.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate these guys…..I mean I don’t wish them harm. I feed them lovingly and care for them as best I can but I don’t have that heart connection. I think it’s because my heart is just running out of meaningless love. Besides if I am totally truthful, Ben and Jerry don’t love me. Maybe deep down I am hurt; maybe I lacked something important growing up but I cannot love animals that try their best to make me crazy! Do any of you understand? ANYONE? Nah, I thought not. I’m just a mean person and that’s probably how I will stay at least in the eyes of two adorable little pugs!

They look deceptively sweet!