This Blogger’s Top Ten Ewww List

I figure that there are a lot more but I will choose just 10 things I do NOT want to hear about from anyone at anytime!

10.  Lengthy discussion of the route you took to get here. This drives me insane. Everytime we visit one of my sisters and her husband, the two men talk for about an hour on the best route blah blah blah…..

 

 

 


9. As we age, I don’t want to hear about your toned abs, no thank you very much! Get real and get a life…this is for the young folk if they must!

 

 

8. I do NOT care what sign you are! It’s all bull to me anyway and please don’t try to talk me out of it.

 

 

 

 

 

7. Honestly? Your kid is smart, OK I know that but really? Do you have to read me their whole report card? Of course, this is totally cancelled out for my own grandkids….I mean they really ARE the most clever and brightest and…….

 

 

 

6. So you inherited lots of money or hit it big in Vegas. Tell someone who really cares why don’t ya?

 

 

 

5. So I don’t mind listening to a little bit of bitching about your mean boss but don’t tear the ass out of it…..QUIT already….go on the dole like so many others do. Just leave me alone!

 

 

 

 

4. You got problems in your marriage? Welcome to the real world and get over it. Work it out! No one else will be any better. It pays to have some ‘stick-to-it-vness!’ Believe me after 41 years I know what I am talking about.

 

 

3. Don’t want to hear about all the damn pills you are on for every ailment known to man. Been there; done that. Had chemo and survived! Enough said!

 

 

 

2. Will not listen to your play by play rendition of the surgery you had. Even if it is a revolutionary wonder of medical science, I don’t need to hear it. It’s done? You made it? Good, where shall I mail a card to you.???

 

 

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT OR HEAR ABOUT OR KNOW ABOUT IS…………

1. Don’t care how cute you look sitting there, NO WAY……..shut up. Do not need to know!!!!

Eavesdropping Can Be Hazardous for Your Sanity

As I look back over the years, I am reminded of many instances wherein I have inadvertently overheard someone talking about me. I would estimate that most of the time it was not terribly pretty. But then, if you recall an earlier blog of mine,  I can be a rather mean person. (November 4, 2011) so no shock there.

What really matters, I believe, is how you handle the information.

The first time I remember living through the earth-shattering instance, I was in a complete state of shock. I had NO idea I affected anyone to such an extent. To think a simple and innocent action on my part, became something ugly……well it was not one of my best days, I can assure you. I did learn; however, to more closely govern my words and actions. And I learned to be a little less trusting.  One becomes a little hardened and it is sad, isn’t it? It is particularly sad, when someone unjustly accuses you of a serious matter. It happened to me only once wherein I was SURE that I would actually die of the pain. But this was not an eavesdropping event; this was plain old “On trial, already judged and condemned.” I could still weep with the painful memory but I shan’t. God knew my heart then. He knows it now.

But I digress…..I did not mean to be so morbid.  What I really wanted to share with you today is a HEE (Happy Eavesdropping Event).

Yesterday I overheard my step-grandson who still calls me “Auntie Helen”, speaking with two of his friends who were over for the afternoon. He whispered aloud to them, thinking I was nowhere around, “Let me go ask my Grandma…she will love to do it for us.”   My heart jumped for joy. He called me Grandma to his friends.

And so, thank you dear sweet precious Xavier; you have managed to keep me sane for yet another day……..

FIRST KISS

We celebrate so many firsts in our lives, some we don’t remember, others we don’t want to remember. Then there are some not worth remembering and best of all those cherished in our memories forever!

This is about that cherished memory……I was just 14 years old. My first boyfriend and what was to be ‘eventually’ my “FIRST KISS”.

My girlfriend Barb and I, best friends or BFF’s as they say now, caught the eyes of two rather sweet young men who happened, as well, to be BFF’s. In those days (1960’s) a girl NEVER approached a guy no matter what her heart-strings were singing out. But somehow, I recall, these two cute young fellows found out that we just may not object to accepting them as our very first boyfriends. It was terrifying; it was magical. It was nerve-fraying; it was wondrous. And most of all, it was INNOCENT. Because we were so young, we were only permitted to double-date. Whew….at least that’s what I told my mother I wanted. I was scared out of my mind to be alone for a whole date with a guy! And so, we went to the movies together and we were walked home from Junior High School Dances together, well, up to a point. At a certain crossing, he walked her up Hillcrest Street and my guy continued walking me home. We did hold hands…..thump, thump went my heart….. At the doors, there was the hesitation but over and over, it was a quick, “Good night” and off he ran. 🙂 And so every evening after we got home, Barb and I would quickly call each other and blurt out, “Did he kiss you?” Now this went on for weeks and weeks and summer was drawing to a close. It was obvious both young men were terrified to take that next step in our relationships and I can only imagine their conversations afterwards. They probably pushed each other to step up to the plate etc. Finally one Friday night, after another stilted “good night from my young man”, Barb called with the most exciting news, “HE KISSED ME! HE KISSED ME!” I was dancing around with joy for my dearest friend and with tears gathering in my eyes, I asked, “How was it?” She paused for a split second and answered almost reverently, “It was awful! So wet and slobbery!” We then laughed nervously and I got a major pain deep in my gut. OH NO! Maybe I could do without ever having a boy kiss me? In the two weeks that followed, Barb continued to wrestle with mixed feelings as she endured and then finally began to rather like her beau’s kisses. I was utterly ashamed and downhearted. Maybe he didn’t like me enough to kiss me, I told myself. I didn’t rely on the fact that he was so shy and unsure of himself and I worried continuously. Finally at the last party of the summer, at the home of friends, there was music and laughter. We danced and danced and then, as always, the lights mysteriously were turned out for the last waltz of the evening. Then it happened, I felt his sweet warm lips touch mine and my heart raced with joy. We stayed locked like that for exactly 3 and a half minutes while the song played out. There was no slobbering; there was no wetness; there was no movement at all. He could have been dead smashed up against me but it was MAGICAL and I was IN LOVE!

Jerome, Me, Barb and James at the Prom

Thank you Jerome .   I will never forget you!

How I Met Your Father

One fine autumn evening, a small town girl,  a new student at St. Martha’s School of Nursing, along with her best friend, and armed with the knowledge that she looked quite smart in her newly borrowed outfit (not my uniform and cap), walked into the hallowed halls of the town’s University, to attend the First Dance of the Academic year.

Little did she know that this night was to mark a new beginning like she never could have imagined.

18 year old Helen

I was young and innocent and my eyes were filled with excitement at what the world may have had in store for me.

OK so it took a while before this  scene played out but you get the picture.

Anyway, as soon as I walked in the door, with the Beach Boys or some 60’s music blaring, Ray walked right up to me and pulled me on the dance floor. I could say the rest is history but there is really much more to it than that. (Isn’t there always?)

So we danced through the night, and we held each other…..ah, well no, that is WHY I kept dancing with the guy. He was so polite and a real gentleman. My experience up to then had been that in the slow dances, the guy tried to make his big move…he would pull you in tighter than a roll of pennies and then the hands would start their wandering …ya know. Well this young man couldn’t have been more the gentleman. (He says now, his definition of a gentleman has always been, “A wolf with patience!”)

He walked me home that night and we held hands. The moon was out and the stars were twinkling out romantic messages. It was obvious that he was not a Canadian and even perhaps had some sort of exotic look so I asked him about that. He explained that he was a Bermudian of Portuguese heritage. My heart did a little pitter-patter. I asked him if he spoke Portuguese and he answered yes. My heart held it’s crazy beat for just a moment as I dared ask, “Will you say something to me in Portuguese?” He looked up at the heavens as though to grasp a phrase from out of its depths and said, “Tu….blah….blah…blah….” and smiled into my eager face. He was probably ticking his figurative finger in his mind as one huge checkmark…score! But then I asked him, once my heart started to beat again, with a soft little catch, “What does it mean?” He looked long and hard and perhaps a little forlorn, before responding truthfully, “You have the face of a monkey!”

“WHAT?”….he smiled sheepishly and said it was the first thing that he could think of.,

I SWEAR I did not see this photo of him till AFTER we were married!

 

 

 

 

 

AND YES, we continued to date. Two major things were revealed to me that night in September 1967…..he was a gentleman and he did not tell lies.

Forty one years of marriage later………….he IS a gentleman and he never ever lies!

And THAT, my children (and all of you out there) is How I Met Your Father

 

Bermuda…Winter Paradise?

After the Storm....

Bermuda is often referred to as Paradise and whilst it is pretty fabulous, of course, it is not perfect. We have our problems socially, insectually (my new word) and even weather-wise. I point this out to settle the bets around the globe….We do have nasty weather too and this is just such a week. At present several sporting events have had to be cancelled because of gale-force winds. Well the winds knocked down the tents wherein all the spectators (myself included) would sit around and eat and drink into oblivion. (OK so I don’t drink at all but I do tend to eat rather more than I ought, at such times) We have Rugby Players from all over the world here and they cannot play! Can you imagine that??!!! No wonder we have social problems! Anyone who has ever met a real Rugby player must know that they LOVE to party and drink till they drop.

Also at least twice a day, either my beloved husband or I must go on a walk-a-about to check for downed banana trees, fallen avocados and maybe even hoist any number of items out of the pool. The wind is treacherous! I say this to give comfort to those of you who have already had to shovel snow and gather autumn leaves and look forward to frightful winter blizzards. At least you can play in the snow. OK so my tongue is deep into my cheek here but I simply must address certain uncomfortable situations of living on this “Rock”.

I pause now to kiss my husband farewell as he heads out for his daily walk/run with his former secretary. They are bravely facing all the ugly elements and may even get wet on their journey. I am wildly attracted to him right now, in his cute little shorts….. brb

so brave...my HERO!

Since I have not figured out how to make the photos stay in the order I have placed them, I shall just continue here. The inclement weather has got my brain all befuddled…..

anyway…the rest of my repertoire will be best explained in the following photos. YES, I went out into the storm to photograph these… You will see just a few of the avocados we have had to gather from last night’s fury as well as a few bananas. You will also note that there are some hardy little fellas still on their trees. Bravo!

It should also be noted that our usual clean and pristine pool is a mess today. Again, I fault the weather and oh yeah the pool guy doesn’t come till Thursday.

this mornings' gatherings

Have a lovely day whatever you must face……until tomorrow……I bid you adieu.

She Who Has the Best Hair Wins

I am re-posting one of my favorite posts today (August 30, 2011).

Today was very exciting for this RV girl. We met up with a childhood friend and schoolmate for lunch. We had not really seen each other pretty well since High School days. I warned her on the phone yesterday to look out for the old lady at the meeting place……

We got there first. I have to admit I was a wee bit scared and nervous. Ok so I was very nervous.

And then she arrived.

As she got out of her car, it was as though the whole world slowed down……In slow motion, I watched her gracefully untangle her long lovely legs from the car’s interior and alight on the pathway. The pathway itself seemed to glow and I am fairly sure there were flashing lights as she elegantly made her way along the walk…..Suddenly angels began to sing in glorious harmony and my heart skipped a beat….NO, my heart STOPPED. It was every 62 year old’s worst nightmare….Wendy is gorgeous and sophisticated and has the most ravishing (and 100%  natural) red hair I have ever seen. And to top it off, she has cascading curls that bounce when she walks! I gasped aloud ignoring my husband’s feeble attempts to still my aching heart. Instinctively he KNEW this was to be one of those moments. Ah, the big butt from just this morning’s blog post  was nothing compared with the pain that assaulted me now. Still, I am, and always have been, I hope, a kind-hearted person and so for her (that goddess Wendy) I was glad, YES, I am glad. There are just those souls who deserve to be touted and praised and admired and fretted over and my friend Wendy is just such a person.

Her husband did join us too and we had the most delightful luncheon feasting on Fish Chowder and Nova Scotia Lobster Rolls……ahhhhh, wonderful.

I intend to be very brave here now and to insert a photo of us with Wendy. You will see what a humble person I am to share this with all of you because, you see, HER HAIR IS BETTER THAN MY HAIR  (amongst other things I must add….:) )

WENDY with Ray and Helen

Sleepless in Shelly Bay

It seems the older I get, the more I have sleepless nights. It is frustrating because I toss and turn and just when I finally get in the perfect position to drift off, a sudden urge to move a fraction of an inch assails me….and so it goes, over and over. It’s an annoying state  identified as restless leg syndrome.  To alleviate this confounding condition, my doctor has prescribed medication. But I don’t like to take it very much because it can be addictive, so they say. Besides, by the time I am sure it is just this keeping me travelling all over the bed to gain some comfort, it is 2 or even 3 am. Then there is the debate…have I waited too long? Will I be able to wake up at a decent time? With it being that late, perhaps I will not be able to awaken till mid morning and that in itself causes a problem for the following night.

Speaking of medication as sleep aids, what do you think about that Doctor giving Michael Jackson anesthetic used only in operating rooms? It is terrible! I understand that the patient was troubled seriously and just could not sleep so needed to be “put under” to try to quiet the inner demons. Sad sad SAD! Surely a good doctor with high professional standards would have found some other means to help that troubled man sleep at night. He could even have suggested a blog for him. Why not? I find that now, after just ten minutes at my computer, I am getting sleepy, very very sleepy….sleeeeppppy…. Night night all!

Sweet slumber

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Peaceful sleep of the young

I Am Not a Nice Person

As I was out walking my infamous dogs, Ben & Jerry,  today, it occurred to me that I am not a very nice person. I mean anyone who loves total strangers more than their own cute little pugs, isn’t very nice, is she? You know the rule is to wave to passers-by and to greet neighbors with a smile. It’s all written in some law-book somewhere that you have to be happy that your pet gets more attention and praise than you do! It’s just unfair, imho that my husband is happier to see his little buddies when he comes home than me. OK OK so he says that isn’t true but not once have I known him to let me jump up on him in excitement and slobber all over……WAIT A SEC…..ok so maybe he lets me do that but I really think he loves them more than me.  When one of them has a headache, he feels all sorry for them but me?????

Now, where was I? Oh yes, I am not nice…. Today when I was down the road with these two little beasts, a man came up to me and said, “Oh, they’re twins, aren’t they? They are so cute!” I smiled at him but if he could have read my mind, he may have seen the word IDIOT in capital letters, yelling to burst out of me! Twins? Dogs? I almost said, “No you stupid piece of sh.., they are actually sextuplets, moron!” But I fake smiled. I’m kind of good at that now. Fake smiles, fake interest, fake everything…well not everything but you get my meaning.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate these guys…..I mean I don’t wish them harm. I feed them lovingly and care for them as best I can but I don’t have that heart connection. I think it’s because my heart is just running out of meaningless love. Besides if I am totally truthful, Ben and Jerry don’t love me. Maybe deep down I am hurt; maybe I lacked something important growing up but I cannot love animals that try their best to make me crazy! Do any of you understand? ANYONE? Nah, I thought not. I’m just a mean person and that’s probably how I will stay at least in the eyes of two adorable little pugs!

They look deceptively sweet!

Speed Blogging on the Rock…why? why not?

OK, guys, so I have a spare 10 minutes and this is where I choose to spend it……blogging. It’s a lovely Bermuda afternoon and the sun is beckoning….This time of year, I can actually enjoy sitting out on the patio because the sun is as it always should be—warm. Not hot with 90% humidity, just pleasantly warm. It may seem odd but if ever I have a suntan, it is NOT in the summer. It is in the height of a Bermuda winter or early Spring or late Fall. We all know full well that the sun in excess is not good for us anyway but…..there you have it. It is sunny, it is said, 350 days a year in Bermuda. I have grown to LOVE dark grey rainy days. It’s just too sunny and cheery here way too much of the time.  But I know I ought not complain.

The Scene from my Patio 350 days a year!

But let’s talk about sharing one’s thoughts with anyone who happens upon our all too often carelessly written words. Why do some of us love to share our thoughts and others keep everything close to their hearts? What is it about chatting on any subject at hand that draws some of us? I say this because I happen to know a WONDERFUL guy who thinks I am spreading my “business” all over the web for everyone to read. Yup, you know who, honey…..and you just don’t understand. It’s a crazy deep need to spread my terrific wisdom across this sad planet. It is the desire to be talking with total strangers about every profound idea that pops into my little old head. There is a reason why I blog and I will let you know when I discover fully just what entices me so. As I browse through other blogs that I follow, I realize that I am getting to know others whom I may have never crossed paths with in my lifetime. I smile to myself when I think about someone sharing a few words I have put together with a co-worker or friend. I chuckle at the terrific sense of humour of this guy or that girl. I tear up when I read of someone’s troubles that day and I feel, yes, I FEEL close to that person. I experience a connection and I love that. When my life shall be over, I’d like to think that something I said or, in this case, something I wrote touched another person’s life. Perhaps I become an inspiration one day to someone. Maybe I make someone who is burdened with worries, laugh that day or maybe I have an impact on someone’s questioning faith. It could be, for sure, that many days I have people saying what a strange character I am but isn’t it great…?? I shall never know it? Well, they could make nasty comments I guess but at least I can press “delete” on that. Too bad we can’t copy and paste people into the ‘trash bin’ of life but when one watches how they live and operate, one can speculate that they are headed there all by themselves. 🙂

It’s been lovely sharing with you all today.

Have a blessed “Bermudaful” Day!

A Tribute to My Fellow Bloggers

I have been blogging for a few months now. In fact, I started it while my husband and I were on our annual RV trip, hence the name. I have thought of changing it several times since we only RV about 2 or 3 months a year but am leaving it for now.

friends visiting us on our RV

Anyway, every morning after my tea, I come to my computer to read my mail. I do look quickly at the news of the day on our little Island first, then read messages from family etc and then I sit back to relax and enjoy all the blogs I follow. There are some I quite like and there are some that I love.  Today I shall address those that I love.

ScottSholer………..love his Christian inspirational messages though he only posts once or so a week.

Big Sheep Blog……we think SO much alike. Interesting topics and a fun approach to life, it would seem.

Old Girl New Tricks……my FAVOURITE, partly because she is my bestest friend/sister and partly because she is just so darn great at sharing her thoughts etc.

High Heels Momma…..well she is just beautiful, adorable, smart, funny AND my niece!

Prairie Wisdom…….she truly does offer wisdom in the midst of this crazy world. Excellent

Views and Mews…….insightful outlook on life……lots of fun too.

Not Quite Old……WOW! Wonderful and very very clever girl!

Fifty-Four and a Half …..terrific post too.

I almost forgot…forgive me…but I just discovered Simply Charming too. LOVE it!

Creative Endeavors, the home of BoxCarOakie……intelligent and uncanny way of looking at life around him. Always entertaining.

These are just a few of my favourites…..how about you?

(hint hint, hoping someone will say they actually find my posts readable and somewhat entertaining…..lol)