Looking Back…

As 2012 draws closer each day, it gives me pause to reflect a little on this past year…indeed on many years gone by. Every day each of us is closer to the day of no return. I don’t mean to be morbid here; in fact, I am approaching this topic light-heartedly and with tongue in cheek.
How would MY life be summed up, I wonder? There are likely various answers depending to whom I may pose this question and a few I do NOT want to hear about at all. (:)) So today I am going to be open and honest with myself. I will not go on and on and rant and rave here. Surely I have long since done that to death. But I will sum it up with a few words.

The first third of my life was filled with laughter, music, family and fun.

The second third was sadly dominated by tears. Oh my life was rich and joyful more often than not, but looking back… man oh man I was one big assed cry baby. I have to laugh now at myself. I was Miss Drama and I herein apologize profusely to all ye who had to endure the bouts of crying. If I was angry or irritated I was likely to dissolve into tears. When my husband and I had “marital adjustments” I cried to my sisters long distance. If the children were unruly, I cried with frustration. I cried to friends and neighbors……WOW……I was a royal pain in the neck! And no I was NOT depressed. I just cried so darn much.

Then I hit MENOPAUSE!….

The final third of my life and I can NOT cry. I laugh; I smile; I get angry; I get fed up; I am impatient; I am loving; I am becoming happy with how God is changing me (He still has SO much to do!) and I absolutely am thrilled to be alive.  I am strong and I am determined and it is great to feel so much more in control.  In some ways I am way more tolerant but all too often I cannot bear to endure certain people and topics. I am a mixed up bunch of dried up hormones and I am ready to face whatever the new year has to offer. Besides, what choice do I have?


14 responses

  1. I hope 2012 is wonderful for you and all your family 🙂 If you find yourself needing a good laugh, reread your blogs – some of them have me giggling to the point of tears!

  2. I smiled after reading this. It’s like me, only the female version. My wife said I’m like having a menopause with my mood swings. I told her I think I’m just stressed but somehow, I seem to have some of the symptoms. Oh, well there’s nothing that prayers can’t fix. Everyday I pray for some degree of calmness and inner peace. I do now it will come, may be as a present this Christmas. Thank you for sharing. So heartfelt, touching and what I like to call, ” so human.”
    Wishing you and your family all the blessings of love, peace, joy and good health this Christmas and everyday. A toast for making it in 2011 and to here’s to an amazing 2012 for all of us.

  3. Oh yeah, many is the time I called you ….you are a saint but then so are our other sisters and many of our 7 brothers…..I called you all so much to whine and cry. Sorry guys but hey thanks for listening and not hating me. 🙂
    I remember calling brother Ed one time in Vancouver…I was so distraught that I totally forgot about the 5 hour time difference. Here I was complaining and carrying on and it was 4 in the morning for him. Yikes! I was a brat!

  4. Ah, what a grand journey life is . . . thanks for sharing your reflective timeline. I think its great to stop and think back how our life was before, as you have done. Great incentive.

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