In the midst of this busy Christmas week, I am going out on that good ole proverbial limb here and am going to discuss a very important topic. Whilst it IS the Season for rejoicing and making merry, it is also a time for reflection. I honestly don’t mean to be insensitive here but I just gotta be me (as I believe Frank Sinatra used to croon to the tune of millions $$$)
The very fact that ‘he’ is a part of so much discussion on my blog, would seem to indicate that I have a deep-rooted love for Jerry but to be real, my sentiments vary with the weather. (and here in Bermuda the weather does not vary greatly) However, anyone who really REALLY knows me, knows I speak truth here. I mostly don’t care for little Jerry too much. I mean I care FOR him but don’t care much….well let me stop right here and further explain this mess I am attempting to compose.
Jerry is one half of the infamous team of Ben & Jerry and no, I don’t mean the ice cream guys. I am speaking of our two little pugs. In February they will be 7 years old and you would think they would be well settled in to life here on ‘the Rock’, more specifically in our ‘home’. Just when I think I can trust them to behave and allow them free reign of the house while we are out and about, I come home to a distinct poo-poo stink and yup, there in a neat little heap is a still warm pile of shit. (sorry for those of you who may have sensitive ears but I call it like I see it and smell it and shit is what that crap really is!!!)
It is obvious, even to cold-hearted me that I cannot even scold the little fella. Unless one catches the beast in the very act of squatting and releasing, it is safe to assume a scolding is a waste of time and energy. They are quite dumb little animals, you see and so I just look at the offending one….quite sure it is Jerry but then Ben does seem to have a snide look on his cute little black face so…..
Jerry has already been diagnosed with Depression and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and was even put on some rather fun medication. It actually seemed to work for about a month but then he got used to it so would either have required larger and larger doses to achieve its purpose and even I don’t want a doped up druggie of a pet. I made the final decision to take him off all medication and for the most part he is a happier little pug. Of course, that could be due in part to the fact that I started popping his pills. Ummmmm (just kidding here)
Both dogs are LICKERS but Jerry is obsessive about it. He licks himself, his bed, the carpets (ewwe) the floor, the furniture and his brother (in an incestuous way GROSS) I cannot not have him sleep anywhere near my bedroom….he is going at it all night long and while that may ah…er….um….interest some couples in the bedroom, it leaves me cold and angry. And so, my darling husband has relented and the ‘boys’ are shunned from our bedroom. They sleep across the house in the far corners of the kitchen but do you know what? I still wake up from time to time hearing slobbery ‘lick, lick, lick’! It drives me mad!
Today I stopped in the local pet store to inquire about something natural to give him to help him relax a bit. They gave me something new and I am eager to give it a go. I am hoping he will relax just enough….JUST ENOUGH to stop licking and obsessing but not to relax his innards to an extent that may increase involuntary intestinal releases.
And YOU thought YOUR life was hard…..come on guys, give me a break….
(laugh with me, won’t you?)