Love Via Stomach or Ears?

His hungry heart (google image)

Years and years ago, I coined the phrase, “If the way to a Man’s heart is through his stomach, then the way to a Woman’s heart is through her ears!”

Google image of the listening wife












In fact, that phrase was to be the title  or subtitle of an award-winning novel I would one day write….

SO should you choose to ‘borrow’ my creative phrase, please at least give the credit to me.

For more than half of my marriage, I, on occasion, would fret. My darling husband was extremely reluctant to offer me sweet words of praise. He was the strong, silent type. OK so he has never ever been silent except, of course, to shower heaps of praise on me, his beloved wife.

I would estimate that many, many couples battle with these sorts of issues and I am here to admonish you and you and you….or to instruct him and him and her.

It has been overzealously stated that we of the ‘fairer’ sex, ought to earn his love and support and devotion if we create sumptuous meals and delectable delicacies.  So I cooked and I baked and I offered and I sated his food cravings (first and foremost. The rest I shall not share!)

BUT I tried over the years to tell him things like, “If you want ‘loving’ at 11 (p.m.), you had better start at 7 (in the morning) He would do well to woo and speak loving words. In other words, we NEED to hear with our ears that  we are loved, respected, admired and a feast for his eyes. It just ain’t cutting it if he’s been a morose, sullen, grumpy and self-centered man all day and evening only to flick the “let’s make whoopee now” switch. We need to be romanced a wee little more than that. We need to HEAR we are loved and then we can more completely participate in the ‘process’.

Thankfully, couples often make it through, unscathed,  these sorts of communication break-downs and speaking as one who has survived, I can say it is well worth it.  The only trouble is, that NOW if he were to tell me wonderful things about myself, I would wonder if it were true. I mean, don’t tell me at my age and state of downfall physically speaking, that I am the most beautiful …anything.

But do at least tell me, no one makes that dish like you, honey. Or, honey, you are such a terrific blogger, or…baby, I love it when…..

Hmmm, must run for now. I think I hear compliments coming my way as my hubbie calls out to me from the other room….

(Pause here)

Nah, he was just asking where I put his house keys….. 😦

6 responses

  1. Once again wonderful words. Reading the title of your post I impulsively thought stomach not knowing where your post would lead. What a great way to describe love. Have you read The 5 Love Languages?

  2. Thanks. I have heard of the 5 love languages but have not read it. I did read something by Gary Smalley and John Trent about the language of love. Must look for that other one.
    It is probably similar to Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus

  3. Yep, my wife got me with the dessert she made the first few dates we made. She knew I my weakness are sweets. As for her, I showered her with irresistible love letters and inspired paintings I made just for her. Beautiful post.

    • Awe… are a sweetheart. My hubbie found it so difficult to express feelings. He was brought up like that but I like to think I helped him through this journey. I cam from such a loving family. We all knew we were loved and worthy of encouragement!

      Sent from Helen’s IPad

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